如何爱自己以及什么是爱

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Sanhia-如何爱自己以及什么是爱

We have a question that came in response to the previous message on co-dependency. It is paraphrased here.

我们有一个问题与上一则信息“相互依赖”相呼应。这里是它的释义

Many of our problems seem to come from not being loved as a child, and then we feel we have a black hole inside that needs to be filled. All spiritual answers I have heard are saying the same thing, that you must love yourself. But how to love yourself if we don’t know how to do it or even know what love is? How do we get to know if no one shows us? I’m sure the answer is true, but I feel a big blaming towards the one who doesn’t have love. My feeling is that the ones who have love in their life should show the others love. I have read “You shall love others as yourself” from Jesus. He didn’t say, “You have to love yourself first,” as I often hear from spiritual books and teachers. That has always made me wonder, feel, or sense that this interpretation can make people more egocentric.

管道：我们的许多问题看似来自小时候没有被爱，然后我们感到内在有着一个黑洞，需要去填满。我听到的所有灵性答案都述说着同一个东西，你必须爱自己。但如果我们不知道如何去做或者都不知道爱是什么，我们要如何爱自己？如果没人来展示给我们看，我们如何知道？我想答案是肯定的，但我感到一个巨大的责备朝向没有爱的人。我的感觉是在生活中拥有爱的人应该展示他人爱。我读到过耶稣说过的话语“你应该爱人如己”。他没有说“你必须先爱自己”，就像我经常从灵性书籍和老师那里听到的。这总是让我好奇、感到这种诠释会让人们更加以自我为中心

Thank you for that wonderful question. Hopefully we will deal with all aspects of it. I wish to begin by saying that not many, but all your problems come from wanting your personal will to have precedence over the Will of God. They germinate from your wish for what is to be different than it is. What is is the will of God. It is God’s gift to you in this moment, the perfect thing for you. It is given with love because God is Love and could give nothing else. It can feel painful to you because your personal will wants something else, contrary to what God is providing. If you maintain that separation, you will suffer and feel unloved. This has nothing to do with how you were raised. Your perceptions about your upbringing have everything to do with your beliefs and projections, in your separation from the Divine Love of God. I will tell you the absolute truth about your parents. They, Divine Children of God, were doing the best that they could. Mostly they were choosing personal will over Divine Will as all humans do most of the time. If you want to know how to love, begin by thanking your parents for not only doing their best, but for playing the role that needed to be enacted in your life to best support your awakening process. Your work now is to go inside and see where you hold your parents in judgment; that place where you do not love them is where you also do not love yourself. Ask Spirit or God to assist you in receiving the gift that your parents were and are for you. Wherever you feel less than full acceptance, that is the work for you to do. To be a victim is to say to God that “You are wrong”. It is to choose your personal will over that of God. It is to state that you think you know better. It is to condemn yourself to misery and separation from feeling the Love of God. While believing that God didn’t give you what you wanted, it was you who resisted and didn’t want what God gave you. Give up your separation. Give up your personal will. Stop fighting what is, while wanting things to be different. This is what being in the now is. Have the intention to accept God’s Will for you. Trust what is here now, knowing that it is the highest and the best thing.

谢谢你这个奇妙的问题。希望我们能够处理它的所有面向。我希望先说不是很多，而是你所有的问题来自想要你个人的意愿凌驾于神的意志之上。它们源自你希望得到跟现在所呈现的不一样的东西。现在呈现的东西是神的意志，是神此刻给予你的礼物，完美的礼物。它是伴随着爱被给予的，因为神是爱，没有别的东西可以给予。这会让你感觉起来痛苦，因为你个人的意愿是想要别的东西，与神提供的相反。如果你保持这种分离，你会痛苦，感到不被爱。这跟你的成长环境没关系。你对自己成长情况的感知跟你的信念和投射有关，与神的爱分离有关。我会告诉你关于父母的真相。他们，神的孩子，已经竭尽所能。大多数情况下，他们会选择个人的意愿，而不是神的意志，就像所有人大多数时候会做的。如果你想要知道如何去爱，先去感谢你的父母不仅竭尽所能，还扮演了所需的角色来最好地支持你的觉醒进程。你现在的工作就是进入内在，看看你在哪里评判父母。你并不爱他们的地方也是你不爱自己的地方。请求灵魂或神来协助你接收你的父母给予你的礼物。你在哪里感到无法接受，那是你需要去做的工作。成为受害者就是对神说“你错了”。这是选择你个人的意愿而不是神的意志。这是在说你认为你比神懂得更多。这是宣判自己是悲惨的，与神的爱分离的。当你相信神没有给予你你想要的，这是你在抗拒，不想要神给予你的东西。放弃你的分离。放弃你个人的意愿。停止抗拒呈现的东西同时又想要事物有所不同。这就是活在当下。意图接纳神的意志。相信此刻呈现的，知道它是最高、最好的东西

The question about loving yourself, the spiritual teaching…I can understand your confusion. How does one go about loving oneself? How do we define love? What is it? Other good questions. It is said that the truth that can be written or stated is not the whole truth. Words cannot explain what love is. We encourage you to approach these questions using the process of elimination. What is not love? We have already provided one enormous hint. Choosing personal will over Divine Will is not love. If God is Love, then not choosing God’s Will is not choosing love. This likely means that everything you have ever learned about love is probably untrue. If it is about getting your personal desires met, it is not about love. Look at all the goals you have for your personal self. Wanting to feel loved is a goal for your personal self. Stop striving for those things. Instead focus on receiving the love that God is giving you each moment of every day. See what that is. Reread the last message and see all the aspects of co-dependency that are mistaken for love. Anything you wish to receive from anybody else is not an expression of love. Those are expressions of lack, of neediness. God provides everything you need in the now. Looking elsewhere is a refusal to accept the Will of God.

关于爱自己，灵性教导的问题…我理解你的困惑。一个人如何爱自己？我们如何定义爱？爱是什么？都是很好的问题。俗话说能够被书写或述说的真理不是全部的真理。言语无法解释什么是爱。我们鼓励你用排除法来解决这些问题。什么不是爱？我们已经提供了一个巨大的暗示。选择个人的意愿而不是神的意志就不是爱。如果神是爱，那么不选择神的意志就是不选择爱。这可能意味着你对爱的所有了解可能都是虚假的。如果这是关于满足你个人的欲望，这就不是爱。看向你为自己设置的所有目标。想要感到被爱是你个人的目标。停止追求那些东西。而是专注于接收神时时刻刻给予你的爱。看到那是什么。重读上则信息，看到所有被误认为是爱的相互依赖面向。任何你希望从任何人那里得到的东西不是一个爱的表达。那些是缺乏、需求的表达。神在当下提供了你所需的一切。看向别处就是拒接接收神的意志

You are not a hole that needs to be filled. You are a Divine Child of God, perfect as you are. The human condition is belief in separation from God. That is the biblical fall. It encompasses not feeling loved or loveable, of feeling guilty. This has nothing to do with your parents. It has to do with you. This is not blame. This is the human condition. You share it with everyone on the planet. Everyone’s job is to let go of their personal will and to follow the Will of God, to accept the perfection that God is presenting in the ever changing and morphing present. Whatever you are experiencing now that is not acceptable to you is your creation. That is not blame; it is how it is. If you pretend this is not your creation, you give away all your power. When you choose to want your will to rule, you create these painful experiences to appear to be real. Use your power by surrendering it to God instead of pretending to be a victim. To say that others who have love should share it with you is an expression of victimhood, of co-dependency. You are saying that you need somebody else to do this work for you, but they cannot do that. You are in charge of your experience, not them. If they could control your life by determining whether to give you love, you certainly would be a helpless victim. Fortunately, this is not the case.

你不是一个需要填补的空洞。你是神的孩子，完美如你。人类的情况就是相信自己与神是分离的。这就是圣经中的堕落。它包含感到不被爱或不可爱，内疚感。这跟你的父母没关系。跟你自己有关。这不是指责。这是人类的情况。你与地球上的每一个人共享。每个人的工作就是放下个人的意愿，跟随神的意志，接纳神在不断改变的当下呈现的完美。无论你正在体验什么，对你来说是不可接受的，那是你的造物。这不是指责。它就是这样。如果你假装它不是你的造物，你就交付了自己所有的力量。当你选择让你的意愿来统治，你会创造这些看起来真实的痛苦体验。通过把它们交给神来使用你的力量，而不是假装成为一个受害者。去说其他拥有爱的人应该与你分享爱是受害者、相互依赖的一个表达。你在说你需要别人来替你做工作，但他们无法做到。你负责着自己的体验，不是他们。如果他们可以通过决定是否给予你爱来掌控你的生活，你肯定会成为一个无助的受害者。幸运的是，情况不是这样

Nobody can show you love because others act as your mirror. If you are not loving yourself, if you are not accepting yourself as you are right now, then you will not find that love reflected at you from others. Oh, you might bask in it for a while, but the feeling of being loved won’t stick. To ask for others to show you love is not a realistic request. If another is living in love, they can only spread that love to everyone else on the planet. This is not even a choice. If others are not in such a space, they have nothing to give. In either case, the effect on the one who feels unloved will be nil. So, to ask for others to share love with you is a futile gesture. That can only start with you. Then you can begin to receive what has always been there for you. The irony, of course, is that when you are capable of receiving love you have no need to do so. Again, give up your personal will’s need to be shown love, and surrender to the Will of God who will always rain love down upon you. Again, in the final analysis, only you can do this work. Nobody can do it for you. That may sound frightening; it may leave you feeling helpless, but ultimately it is the most empowering thing that you could hear. To feel love, you do not need anybody else to do anything or to act in any certain way toward the world. You have the absolute power here. You are not and cannot be a victim because it is all in your hands.

没人可以展示你爱，因为别人是作为你的镜子在行为。如果你不爱自己，如果你不接纳自己，那么你就无法找到他人反射给你的爱。哦，你可能会沉浸其中一会儿，但被爱的感觉不会长久。请求他人来展示你爱不是一个现实的请求。如果别人处于爱中，他们只能把那个爱传播给地球上的每一个人。这甚至不是一个选择。如果别人不处于爱中，他们就没什么可以给予的。无论哪一种情况，对感到不被爱之人的影响会是零。所以，请求别人分享给你爱是徒劳。这只能始于你。然后你可以开始接收总是为你存在的。当然，讽刺的是当你能够接收爱，你就没有需求去这么做了。再次，放弃个人意愿的需求（被展示爱）并臣服于总是把爱沐浴你的神之意志。再次，归根结底，只有你可以做这个工作。没人可以替你去做。这可能听起来吓人；可能让你感到无助，但最终，这是你能听到的最鼓舞人心的话语。要感到爱，你不需要别人去做任何事情或者在任何特定的方式中行为。你有绝对的力量。你不是也无法成为一个受害者，因为一切都掌握在你的手中

Let’s go back to the statement about spiritual teachers saying that the first thing is to love yourself and your fear that this might lead people to becoming more egocentric, just thinking about themselves. If one’s interpretation of loving yourself amounts to looking at what you want to have in your life and feeling that you deserve to have these desires met, then that is an endorsement for following personal will. That is not surrendering to the Will and Love of God. It could be said that it is an act of thinking you know better than God what is best for you. It is an act of resistance to God’s Love. It does not demonstrate trust; it is not an acceptance of the now. If that is how “loving oneself first” is interpreted, you have a good point. Now, looking at the biblical statement from Jesus which is often interpreted as, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” there arises a curious question. If you are not loving yourself, does that mean not to love others either? Perhaps this is not a statement of putting yourself or others in the supreme position, but one of expressing the Oneness between you. You are encouraged to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, not so that you have a technique for getting what you want, but as a statement of fact. As you do to others, you at the same time do to yourself. It can be no other way. There is no separation.

让我们回到灵性老师说的，第一件事就是爱自己，你害怕这会导致人们变得更加以自我为中心，心里只有自己。如果一个人把爱自己解读为看向你想要拥有什么、感到你值得被满足这些需求，那么这就是在说你要跟随个人的意愿。这不是臣服于神的意志和爱。这可以说你认为你比神更清楚什么对你来说是最好的。这是抗拒神的爱。这不是在展示信任。这不是接纳当下。如果你是这么解读先爱自己的，那你说的是对的。现在，看向圣经中耶稣所说的，经常被解读为“爱邻如己”，这里浮现了一个奇怪的问题。如果你不爱自己，这是否意味着你也不爱别人？也许这不是一个把你自己或别人放到至高无上的位置的声明，但是一个表达你与彼此之间合一的声明。你被鼓励去你希望别人对待你那样对待别人，不是为了让你拥有一个得到你想要之物的方法，而是作为一个事实的陈述。随着你对他人这么做，你也在对自己这么做。无法是其它的情况。没有分离

Your job, as was mentioned in the last message, is to take care of yourself. As you do that, there is no problem with having the intention to give loving service to all others around you, not because it is the right thing to do, but because it requires you to be in the now and to pay attention to loving energy. As you do this you become aware of every place where you hold a judgment about another. You own that judgment, realizing it is one you hold toward yourself. You work with that in yourself until you look out and see nothing but loving acceptance of the other. Truly loving others is quite an accomplishment that should keep you busy for a while. If you hold the thought that your feelings of love are other people’s responsibility, that you don’t know how to love yourself so they have to do it for you, to teach you how, then I am sorry to inform you that you will remain unhappy and feel unloved and separate from God for as long as you hold onto that belief. This is not blame. This is how it is. Fortunately, you have absolute choice here. You can choose to follow the Will of God instead of your personal will. You can choose to accept and face the now to see what that is. Ultimately, we are not talking about a question of love, particularly in terms of what most human’s understanding for that term is.  We are talking about will. Is it your will or is it God’s Will?

你的工作，正如上则信息中提到过的，是照顾好自己。随着你这么做，去意图把有爱的服务提供给周围的人就不会有什么问题。不是因为这是正确的事情，而是因为这需要你处于当下，留意有爱的能量。随着你这么做，你意识到你对他人的每一个评判。你拥有那些评判，意识到它是你对自己的评判。你致力于它，直到你看向外在，什么都看不到，只会有爱地接纳他人。真心爱他人是一项了不起的成就，会让你忙上一阵子。如果你认为你的爱之感受是别人的责任，你不知道如何爱自己，所以他们需要替你去做，教你如何去做，那么我很抱歉来告诉你，你会保持不开心，感到不被爱，与神分离，只要你还保持这样的信念。这不是指责。它就是这样。幸运的是，你有绝对的选择。你可以选择跟随神的意志，而不是你个人的意愿。你可以选择接纳并面对此时此刻去看看它是什么。最终，我们不是在谈论爱的问题，尤其是大多数人对爱的理解。我们是在谈论意志。它是你的还是神的？

Let me bring this to a conclusion by reminding you about how you might go about surrendering to the Will of God while releasing your personal will. This is not a formula. This is not telling you the way to do this. This is not written in stone. These are simply pointers. Ultimately, your inner Divine Knowing will guide you. To begin with, you can notice two things. First observe your thoughts. Be aware of when the thoughts indicate that you don’t want things to be as they are or where you want the future to be different from the present. Notice when the thoughts are about being a victim of your past. As you are aware of these thoughts, do your best not to act on them. Just be conscious they are there in your present. Don’t allow your mind to follow long trains of thought along those tracks. These are thoughts from your personal will. Notice they are there and give them to God, to Spirit, to Me, to Someone Else. Holding on to the now as being unsatisfactory creates the illusion of separation from God, and therefore, from the Will of God. How it is right now is God’s gift to you; whether you understand it or not doesn’t matter. Your only task is to look at it as you release your judgmental thoughts. Try to really see what is here. Focus on that rather than on what is not here. As you become practiced in this you will notice that what is here is in constant motion, changing, morphing, reforming. Replace your thoughts about how it should be or about what is missing with your awareness of what it is.

让我通过提醒你如何臣服于神的意志，同时释放你个人的意愿来做个总结。这不是一个公式。这不是在告诉你这么去做的方式。这不是一尘不变的。这些只是指针。最终，你内在的神圣知晓会指引你。首先，你可以去留意两样东西。第一个先观察你的想法。意识到什么时候想法表明你不想要事物是现在这样，或者在哪里你希望未来跟现在不一样。注意什么时候想法是关于成为过去的受害者。随着你意识到这些东西，尽力不要基于它们行为。只是意识到它们在那里。不要让你的头脑跟随长长的思想列车。这些是来自你个人意愿的想法。注意到它们在那，把它们交给神，灵魂，我，别人。紧抓不令人满意的现在会创造与神的分离，因此，与神之意志的分离。现在这样是神给予你的礼物；无论你理解与否，不重要。你唯一的任务是看向它，随着你释放你评判性的想法。试着去看到现在到底有什么。专注于它，而不是并不处于现在的东西。随着你练习，你会注意到在这里的是恒常的运动、变化、重整。用你意识到现在有什么来替换你对它应该是什么样或者什么东西缺失了的想法

I said there would be two things and that was the first. Secondly, notice that you might be having emotional reactions to what is in your now, both connected to the noticing of what is happening and to your thoughts. These feelings are your reactions to your beliefs in separation. You are reacting to what isn’t rather than to what is. Notice those feelings and stay as present as you can with them. If your mind wants to rationalize the feelings as being caused by this or that or feeling victim to whatever this or that is, notice and let the thoughts go. Whatever your mind is focusing on as a cause is not here now. If a cause should be here in your now, then action might be appropriate, but usually it isn’t present. A car headed directly at you is in your now. Your parents are not likely here now, nor are world events you have read or heard about. What is here right now? Your feelings are here, so accept them. There is no need to act on them, just let them be present and release any need to change them or to judge yourself for having them. Simply experience them until they are no longer in your now. Wherever your feelings or your thoughts try to lead you, do your best not to follow. Stay with what is happening. It is that simple, though not necessarily easy. Your habit is to follow the ego driven personal will, but God is in the now.

我说过有两样东西，这是第一样。第二样，注意你可能会对处于你现在的东西产生情绪反应，与注意到正在发生什么以及你的想法是什么有关。这些感受是你对分离信念的反应。你在对“不是”起反应，而不是“是”。注意到这些感受，尽可能与它们同在。如果你的头脑想要合理化感受，是这个或那个或感到是某个东西的受害者导致的，注意到并放下这些想法。无论你的头脑在专注什么，现在都不在这里。如果它在这里，那么行动可能是恰当的，但通常它此刻不在这里。迎面驶来的汽车处于你的现在。你的父母可能不在你的现在，你读到或听到的世界事物也一样。什么处于此时此刻？你的感受，所以接纳它们。不需要基于它们行为，只是让它们存在，释放任何改变它们或因持有它们而评判自己的需求。只是体验它们，直到它们不再处于你的现在。无论你的想法或感受试图引领你去哪，尽力不要去跟随。与正在发生的东西同在。就这么简单，尽管不一定容易。你的习惯是跟随小我驱动的个人意愿，但神处于现在

God’s Love is in the now. God is within you. You are Divine. You will never experience that just because I am telling you who you are or should other people share that with you. If you are feeling separate from God and lack trust in the perfection of what is being brought to you, you will not likely experience your Divine Nature. When you don’t accept the now, you are expressing distrust in God and choosing your personal will over God’s. If you want to follow God’s will, stop! Stop following your own will. You do this through practice, by welcoming and saying thank you to whatever is there, and by fully accepting your feelings without trying to change them. You can do this. You are Love. You are Divine. As your Creator is, so are you. One and the same. Could not be different. The awareness of this arrives as you stop resisting God’s gifts, as you let go of efforts to try to change things or to make yourself better.

神的爱在现在。神在你之内。你就是神。你永远不会体验到它，就因为我在告诉你你是谁，或者要别人来与你分享。如果你感到与神分离，不相信被带给你之物的完美，你不会体验到你神圣的本质。当你不接纳现在，你在表达你不信任神，选择了你的个人意愿，而不是神的意志。如果你想要跟随神的意志，停下来！停止跟随你自己的意愿。你可以去通过练习，通过欢迎并感谢存在于这里的东西，通过接纳你的感受而不试图改变它们来做到这一点。你能够做到。你是爱。你是神。你和造物主没有区别。随着你停止抗拒神的礼物，随着你放下试图改变事物或者让自己变得更好，这个意识就会到来。

日期：2024年5月3日

来自：Michael Hersey

译者：NickChan